Traditional Weddings - The Hawusa Traditional Wedding Ceremony Guide

We are here again today my people, lets talk about another rich Nigerian Tribe which is the Hausa Tribe that is the largest tribe in Nigeria. 

The tribe makes up 29% of Nigerians that live mainy in the Northern part of Nigeria.

They mostly occupy the towns and villages of the Northern parts including Kano, Kaduna, Biram, Jos, Lafia, Maiduguri, Damaturu, Dutse, Gombe, Suleja, Gusau, Jalingo, Jebba, Lafia, Katsina, Abuja, Kano, Sokoto, Bauchi, Birnin, Kebbi, Makurdi, Yola, Zaria etc. 

The Hausa language originated and forms part of the Chadic family of languages which is similar but distantly associated to Hebrew and Arabic

I'm sure you're loving my history lessons.... 😄

The Hausa Traditional Wedding Ceremony:

Hausa Traditional marriages are primarily based on Islamic rites, the nikkhai must precede all wedding ceremony. The culturally rich events tend to last about a week, starting with an wedding fatiha and ending with the main wedding reception. 

A marriage proposal is the first step to a Traditional Hausa Wedding. It is tendered to the bride’s family and they have accepted. Once they have accepted, according to cultural rights, the groom’s family needs to provide a number of items to the bride, this is called “Kayan Zance”. The items typically include:

• Household items e.g. cookware, furniture..
• Fabrics
• Scarves
• Perfumes
• Beauty products
• Underwear
• Shoes
• Cash (Kudin Gaisuwa)

Based on how affluent the groom's family is, they may be asked to provide a house for the couple while the bride’s family has full responsibility of furnishing the house, especially her room, living room and the kitchen. All these are done before prior the actual Wedding Ceremony 

DAURIN AURE: This is the religious ceremony. It is usually hosted and attended by the men in both families. Wedding vows are exchanged but done differently. In the Hausa culture a representative from the groom and bride’s family usually does exchange of vows in the presence of a religious leader and many invited guests. Prayers are offered to the newly wedded couple and celebration continues. This is the most significant event of the entire wedding ceremony.

KAMUN AMARIYA: This is one of the oldest events in the Hausa wedding ceremony. “Kamu” means ''catch the bride''. The groom’s family and friends go and negotiate with the bride’s friends for her release to them. They are demonstrating that have come for their bride and they are wiling to pay any price to have her. This is a really fun event and negotiation may take up to 30 minutes followed by a fun and lavish reception.

WUNI/SA LALLE: The event is strictly for the ladies. This is when the bride gets to spend the last day as a single lady with her friends and female members of her family, in her father’s house. A mixture of henna is made and used to make beautifully designs on the bride’s hands, palms and legs. Her friends and family may also get henna designs on their hands but not as elaborate as the bride. Henna is used to make bring out the beauty of the bride.

KAI AMARIYA: This part is when family and friends chaperon the bride to her matrimonial home to be welcomed, received and  accommodated by her inlaws. After which prayers and advice from her family is given. This is not the end of events in the Hausa Traditional Marriage; there is usually a reception to end the entire wedding ceremony. This includes, food, music and entertainment. After the storm, in some parts of Hausa land, “Sayan baki” takes place In some parts of hausa land the “sayan baki” takes place. This is a negotiation between the groom’s men and the bridesmaids, debating on the amount to be paid before the bride speaks to her groom


This Hausa Culture is so fascinating, it appears to be very family orientated. 

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Traditonal Igbo Wedding Guide

Helo my lovelies.... It Monday and i beleive that we are all bright eyed and ready to face the week ahead.

Don't forget to set yourself at least one goal this week. Keep moving..You can do it!

So back to Today's topic. The Igbo Traditional Wedding; The Igbo Tribe is known to be one of the major tribes in Nigeria. Historically, they were from the Nri Kingdom which happens to be the oldest Kingdom in Nigeria. The Igbo land occupies most of the Southern Eastern Nigeria, and some of the major cities include: Enugu, Onisha,Owerri, Asaba, Akwa, Abakiliki, Abia, Orlu etc.

So enough of the History Lesson 😄

The Igbo Traditional Wedding is made up of different ceremonies.

1. The first one is called the 'Iku Aka' or 'Knocking on the door' where the groom and members of his family (uncles and brothers) come to tell the family of the bride of his intention to marry their daughter. The mother and father of the bride each get a keg of palmwine (ngwo) and one or more for the father's Umunna this could be brothers or cousins. When they arrive, the groom and few family members join the father of the bride in private and discuss the 'ima ego' or dowry. 

Once this is done and accepted, the bride dances out for the first time. Accompanied by her friends  in her native attire of 2 separate pieces of George wrapper (one for her waist and the other for her bust) she goes to greet her mother's people and goes back inside. Her second outfit is white blouse and George or damask or brocade which she uses to greet her father's people and she goes back inside. The third outing is usually in material similar to the grooms, this time, she is handed a cup of wine and told to find her husband and give it to him to drink. When she finds him, she kneels to give him the horn and waits for him to finish. Sometimes, the groom might lift his bride up and give the rest of the wine. This usually indicates he understands she is his help mate and is accompanied by much cheering. The couple then kneel before the parents for prayers and blessings. 

2. The second ceremony, referred to as the 'Igba Nkwu Nwanyi/izu okwu' (wine carrying ceremony) is the actual wedding. The groom is supposed to assist his in-laws-to-be with the planning of this ceremony so he can provide Assorted drinks, a cow, bags of rice and ingredients for cooking.

3.He may also be required to perform a third ceremony called 'Ndi Ochie' which is recognition of all the married women in the family. He does this by giving them a bag of salt and a crate of mineral. If the groom is from outside the village, he must give to the girls mother a list of items which are:

• 1 carton of bar soap
• 2 crates of malt
• 2 bags of salt
• Cooked rice with big pieces of meat
• Orji (kola-nut) and 'oku ose' (kola-nut paste). 

 Alternatively, the groom can just give cash for everything and his in-laws will make them available. (less stress) 😄

Information overload right...... just breathe this is a guideline and often aspects can be amended. Though the entire process could differ from family to family and village to village. 

This guide is based on the Umunze people of Orumba South LGA in Anambra state. 

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8 Step guide to a Yoruba Traditional Wedding Ceremony

Hello and welcome to another day on the Tradition-Ally blog. 

Today we are gonna give you a guide to the Yoruba Traditional Wedding Ceremony.

The ceremony itself can be lengthy at times, but playful banter, the theatrics and the fun overrides anything else. 

so here we go.....

 1: Welcome 

The brides family are normally ushered in with singing and dancing; while the grooms family are detained 'outside' of the venue. They are then approached by the senior coordinator 'Alaga' for them to disclose the reason for them being there. The arrival of the grooms family signals the start of the ceremony, they are required to be on time (no 'african' time here) and can be sent back or fined for being late. Once inside, they are introduced by their 'Alaga' and proceed to kneel and greet the brides family.

 2: The Proposal and Acceptance 

This at times can be a very elaborate proposal 'letter' is presented by the grooms family and read out loud by the youngest member of the brides family. After which an acceptance letter is given by the brides family.

 3: Meet the Groom

The groom typically makes his entrance by dancing in with his friends. At this junction the senior 'Alaga' may ask the groom and his friends to perform a number of duties to express 'their' love for the bride. The groom then proceeds to prostrate two times with his friends and once alone to his new in-laws. During the third prostration, both families stretch out their arms and pray for the groom. He then prostrates once with his friends for his family before proceeding to his seat.

 4: Meet the Bride 

The beautiful veiled bride makes her appearance escorted by her friends who dance her in. She kneels in front of her parents for their prayers and blessings, then does the same with her future husbands parents after which she is unveiled and joins her future husband. Though not compulsory, some brides put the grooms hat (fila) on his head, this demonstrates her acceptance of the proposal.

 5: Bling Please 

On instruction from the Alaga Ijoko the bride picks the gift she wants from the usually dazzling selection brought by her in-laws (a list with the required items would have been given prior to the engagement). She is expected to pick the Bible or Qu'ran to which her engagement ring is attached. The ring is prayed on by 'ministers' then her husband puts the ring on her finger, she is then asked to shows off her ring to all the guests.

 6: Bride Price

Various envelopes containing everything from the bride price to money for the wives, children and elders in the her family are handed over to the brides family. It is very common practice for them to the envelope containing the bride price, the belief is that both families have become one and are giving their daughter away versus 'selling' her.

7: Cut the Cake

The engagement cake is then cut by the bride and groom, this is always an opportunity for family members and guests to take pictures.

8: Party Party Party

Final prayers are said and the occasion is ended with lots of love, eating, music and dancing!

In an ideal world, this how the ceremony runs..... but can be reconstructed depending on personal circumstances. (you know we always run late.......)

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Traditional Weddings - When should i start to plan

Hello there,

I hope we are doing fine and dandy this beautiful day.

The topic of the day hmmmm. Planning a Traditional Wedding can be more stressful than the 'civil ceremony';at time, this can be due to the added extras that come with this ceremony.

The family antics, the Traditional items that need to be involved etc etc.

So when should you start planning? The earlier the better babe! If you are like me, i started planning my Trad even before i got the ring (not ashamed ooo) lol. I have always known the colours, the venue styling, the parents colours. Yes i know everyone is not like me but i would advise that you start drawing up your ideas at least 12 months prior

One year seems a long time but trust me time fly's; before you conclude on the date, before you go round to various venues and negotiate on the price, before you decide on the colours, change your mind and decide again,,, 365 days don pass....

Here are a few steps to guide you:

• I would always advise to get an 'ALLY' that personal person who will be the back bone, the adviser, the critic, the support that you need all the step of the way. (We are here ooo ) don't blame me for advertising 😏😊😊 sometimes you need a neutral person who can sit on the fence and be that silent listener when mum is getting on your nerves and you just want to rant!!!!
• 12 months (after all the yipee ya ya of the proposal) - Decide on the Date
• 12 months - BUDGET!!!!!!
• 11 months  - 'normally' you should start to look at venues 9-12 months in advance, but bear in mind that most good venues maybe already booked. You should be flexible about your preferred day as Monday - Thursday may be cheaper than Friday - Sunday. Don't be afraid to choose a Tuesday 'Trad' as your loved ones will probably drop everything to witness your special day
• 10 months - Baby girl is time to choose your outfit (yahhhhhh) any excuse to go shopping. If you are deciding on Aso Oke, it is worth you starting this early especially if you are into all the 'bling bling - stoning' that is going viral these days. From experience i recently used a fully beaded and stoned aso oke (iro and buba) it took 6 months (with extreme pressure) so start early. If you are also doing 'aso ebi ........(another topic for another day)
• 8 months - It's time to start arranging the guest list and invitations. Your vendors should now be booked; The catering, the cake, the dj etc
• 6 months - If you feel that you need to loose a few pounds before the big day, this would be an idea time to start a fitness regime, or evening if its just to boost your energy or improve your skins appearance; now would be a excellent time to change your eating habits, drinks lots more water etc etc
• 3 months - Have a catch up with all your vendors, visit the venue again to ensure the seating plan and other little niggly bits
• 2 months - 1 month - This would be an ideal time to have a 'makeup'  bridal trial with your chosen makeup artist, book a time that you are most relaxed. Feel free to show her (or him) any ideas you have for that special day.

The most important thing to remember is to enjoy you engagement. Make time to enjoy each other, go out for dinner, watch a movie, and Pray!. Start as you mean to go on, a family that Prays together - Stay together!

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Traditional Wedding - Who to invite

Its a new week .... so of course a fresh new topic for us to talk about.

So who should you invite to your traditional wedding??? The decision is absolutely up to you but here are some tips on how to decide who to invite.

• Firstly you need to determine the reason or the motive behind you having this ceremony. why are you having a Traditional Wedding; is it because mum and dad have imposed it?, is this a great opportunity for a family reunion?, do you want to use this occasion to show off to all your haters that said "you'll never get married"?. Whatever your reasons are this could help you to determine your guest list. You could decide on an intimate affair with just close family and friends, or call the world and its mother. THE CHOICE IS YOURS!
• Your Venue Budget is also another deciding factor. How much have you budgeted for the venue? you have to do your research on the cost of venues and the facilities they offer. In the event that you are unable to locate a venue with adequate space, you may ( i say may) have to restrict guests with young children. In addition if your budget only stretches to a 200 guest space, avoid inviting more than the hall capacity.
• You also have to decide on the location of your Traditional Wedding. This is a major factor; if you are based in UK and decide on holding your Traditional Wedding in Abuja because that is where you were born and raised, and the majority of your family are still living there; should you still invite the whole Abuja community??? hmmmm this question is answered in the previous points.

This topic is very controversial ..... lets talk about it more.... Who do you think should/shouldn't be invited. I'm waiting for your comments 

Traditional Wedding - Where

Me again....back to the matter (open and close); lets continue from yesterday and discuss THE WHERE today...

Where should you hold your Traditional Wedding?

Custom (some) say that the occasion should be held at the brides family home; but recently (as I've mentioned before) people are now integrating modern ideas into Traditional Wedding ideas. This gives you a wide range of options of where to hold this special occasion.

• Home
• Church (or place of worship if permitted)
• Local Community Center
• Town Hall
• Hotel
• Stately Home

The list is actually endless come to think of it. The choice is yours, you just have to be realistic with your budget and ascertain the number of guests you intend on inviting. 

Don't get carried away with the fairy tale dream you've had since a young girl, or try and squeeze your 500 guests into the hall down the road all in the name of saving a few pennies. 

Should you choose a location close to where you live?

This is entirely up to you my dear. When i was looking for a venue for my 'Trad' i had to out of the country as we had ours in Nigeria.... and we are based in the UK. So the decision  is based on your own personal circumstances.

Don't be influenced by the fact that you attend an occasion at this lovely venue and decide to use that same venue based on your knowledge as a guest.... BIG MISTAKE o!!!

Do your research, find out what conditions are attached to the venue, what restrictions are attached to the hire, visit the site on a different day and look at all the facilities (or you could just leave that to us)

don't blame a girl for advertising lol.

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Traditional Wedding - When

Howdy my Mrs to be .... lets dive right in today and discuss the matter above!

How many of you have really thought about WHEN your Traditional Wedding will be held? I'm not talking about the day dreaming we've all done during a work meeting or stuck in traffic hmmm you know yourself!!! I'm referring to the real deep thinking of When you should hold that special day.

So you've said YES, got the ring (get a special manicure so the ring looks extra pretty)  and now the planning has begun. Though you have always dreamed of a fairy tale summer Traditional Wedding, at a huge stately home with beautiful greenery.... lets look at these 3 major points.

1. Could you think of having an "out of season".. wedding, why you ask... (venues are often cheaper, international guest may be able to reduce their travelling costs). Beautiful pictures can still be taken indoors if the weather doesn't play ball.
2. How about holding your Trad during the week rather than a Saturday, (once again, venues are often cheaper during the week; this could also aid in crowd control in addition to cutting cost)
3. Do you have to have your Traditional Wedding in the evening??? what rule book says so; You could consider having it as a brunch... i personally love to be different.

Personal Experience:

My husband and I recently celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary (All glory to God). We often tend to pull a crowd when we have functions so decided to have the celebration on a Friday ( thank God it was the exact date of our wedding). The benefits of this were:

• Cost Cutting
• Crowd Control
• Minimal rowdiness
• Everyone had a seat (no complaining.... "i came all this way, nowhere to sit")
• Displayed elegance, as there was minimal movement up and down as the crowd was of average size

I could go on but I'm sure you get my drift....   I think I've given you enough food for thought ... for today at least. 

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Till next time....

Yemzy x